It’s Official and it is here!

Ascendants Of Evils SHOP is LIVE!!

“About Bloody Time!!!” I can hear you all shouting, and I understand your desires to have an AoE product in the home.  Please understand that we take pride in the quality of our products and this has resulted in the time it has taken us to finally get these beauties through the post and onto your doorstep!

Working alongside 100 starved Chinese children working for 10p a week.  We can now produce and supply every single member of Earth with these products.  And if we can’t? Well one of those 100 little children will be killed. Simple. That’s a Guarantee if I’ve ever seen one!

A catalogue showcasing all our items will be issued within the next few weeks, but until then I am going to direct your attention out some of our proudest products.

AoE’s ‘Sit, Shit and Raid Recliner’

Been wiping on Kael’thas with a turtles head saying hello?  Are you disappointed that one of your raiding members has to go to the toilet every few minutes because of an upset stomach?  2 of the biggest and most annoying occurrences of every raiders life we are sure.

BUT NOT ANYMORE!!

Thanks to Ascendants Of Evils marketing gurus, we have invented the ‘Sit, Shit and Raid Recliner’.

Now you can enjoy your raiding time, whilst you do your Ones, Twos and if you are lucky Threes!  Never again will the raid be held up by an AFK toilet break.

A customer of ours informed us that “There’s nothing nicer than a 1st boss kill and a present in the bowl”.

Buy yours now! Only £50,000

You cannot put a price on convenience!

T-Shirt and Underwear Range

Melons

Ascendants of Evil’s very own farmers have managed to grow a specially developed Melon.  In the past we used to have a raider who wasn’t raiding too well.  When we asked him what the reason was he replied “I’ve had too many Melons”.

So please take the above into consideration when eating Melons.  Too many and you cannot raid.  However if you eat the Melons in conjunction with the ‘Sit, Shit and Raid Recliner’ then you shouldn’t have any trouble.

AoE'S Karaoke CD/DVD Special

Performed exclusively at the 'Teamspeak Server' over the past few months, AoE's recording masters have managed to capture the delights of AoE's acoustic sets.
Utilizing the ability to record in Teamspeak, members have captured such glorious moments of soulful singing that defy not to be listened to.

Now you can be a part of the action and listen to your favourite songs being sung by the angelic voices of Ascendants Of Evil. 
Listen to Hiku singing Chasing cars whilst you drive your car.  Relax to the soothing tones of Scorillos romanian number 1, My baby! 

It's getting nearer to Christmas and this collection of songs would make any person who recieved it happy.  Even a deaf person would appreciate such a gift!

Order yours now!

Preview of SkScotchegg singing 'All By Myself'